If Deranged Sorority Emailer Wrote Obama's Gun Control Speech Scolding Senate

Earlier today an email leaked from a University of Maryland student and, due to its expletive-filled, fiery rhetoric worthy of David Mamet, it almost instantly went viral. The message, sent to the young woman's sorority sisters, forcefully instructed them to represent the sorority better at events with their "matchup" frat.

While perhaps misguided, her language and, dare we say, her passion, was so effective, we couldn't help but imagine her talents being directed at other subjects -- such as, say, senators who blocked gun control legislation in yesterday's vote. President Obama's speech chastising the lawmakers who voted against extending background checks certainly was Obama at his most visibly angry, but if he took this writer's cue, he could have gone a lot further than "shameful."

So, we took the liberty of aggregating her anger and recontextualizing its meaning, applying it instead to what Obama could have said on Wednesday. Obviously, some VERY NSFW language is used below, so if obscenity offends you, stop reading (and keep in mind, the writer's anger is so universal, we had to change very little).

If you tuned into this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this speech is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this Senate, you have been FUCKING UP in terms of reasonable gun control legislation. I've been getting texts on texts about Senators LITERALLY being so fucking INHUMANE and so fucking CALLOUS. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Barry, I've been having so much fun with my NRA pals this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so
that I don't have to fucking find you on the Hill to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Gabby Giffords does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your NRA pals. You have 364 days out of the fucking year to talk to the NRA, and today is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. Today is about repairing something broken in our communities, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to the NRA and not to families of victims. Newsflash you stupid cocks: AMERICANS DON'T LIKE COWARDS. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: AMERICANS DO NOT WANT TO VOTE FOR YOU IF YOU FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, YOU FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about how background checks won?t change anything IN FRONT OF NEWTOWN FAMILIES. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore votes. If your constituents openly said "Yeah we're gonna screw you the next chance we get", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be voting against 90% of Americans interests, I don't give a FUCK if Wayne LaPierre wants you to, if Ted Nugent wants you to, or if the entire NRA wants you to. YOU DON'T. YOU. DON'T. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other Senators to vote with you.

"But Barry!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your TV screen as you listen to this speech, "I've been saying I?m appalled by the tragedies, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP ON INTERNATIONAL FUCKING VOTES TOO. I've not only gotten texts about Senators being fucking WEIRD on the UN Arms Trade Treaty (for example, being stupid shits and adding amendments to budget bills saying "durr we don?t approve treaty?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about Senate Democrats voting with the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about bipartisanship, YOU VOTE FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN IN AN ELECTION? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking
obsessed with making the NRA like you that you think being a good little supporter of the gun community is going to make your voters happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY YOUR FUCKING VOTERS. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you IMPEACH me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh Barry, I'm now crying because your speech has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this speech applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that votes against dead children or if you're a weird shit that thinks a gentle breeze can infringe on the second amendment, this following message is for you:

DO NOT RUN FOR REELECTION.

I'm not fucking kidding. Don't run. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this speech and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS COUNTRY. I would rather have 40 Senators that are reasonable, talk to the families of victims, and not fucking cowardly than 80 that are fucking bitches. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to victims families I have an A rating from the NRA", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking run for reelection unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for legislation that can save fucking lives. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at the next vote, I will tell you to resign even if you're a Democrat. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this speech, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

Also on HuffPost:

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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/18/if-deranged-sorority-emailer-wrote-obamas-gun-control-speech_n_3112108.html

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Gun background-check supporters struggle for votes

Former Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords listens as her husband, retired astronaut Mark Kelly speaks on Capitol Hill, in Washington, Tuesday, April 16, 2013, during a ceremony to honor Gabriel "Gabe" Zimmerman. Zimmerman was Giffords' outreach director until he was killed in the January 2011 shooting rampage in Tucson where Giffords was wounded. (AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana)

Former Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords listens as her husband, retired astronaut Mark Kelly speaks on Capitol Hill, in Washington, Tuesday, April 16, 2013, during a ceremony to honor Gabriel "Gabe" Zimmerman. Zimmerman was Giffords' outreach director until he was killed in the January 2011 shooting rampage in Tucson where Giffords was wounded. (AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana)

Tea Party protestor Greg Hetherington holds a sign during a second amendment protest rally held outside Senator Pat Toomey's Johnstown, Pa. office on Tuesday, April 16, 2013. (AP Photo/The Tribune-Democrat, Todd Berkey) THE MORNING CALL OUT; DAILY AMERICAN OUT; WJAC-TV OUT

FILE - In this April 10, 2013 file photo, Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., left, and Sen. Patrick Toomey, R-Pa. arrive for a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington to announce that they have reached a bipartisan deal on expanding background checks to more gun buyers. Supporters try to salvage an expansion of background checks, the heart of Congress? struggling post-Newtown effort to restrict guns. Forty-one senators are potentially ready to oppose the measure _ enough to sink it unless gun control forces figure out a way to attract more votes. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

WASHINGTON (AP) ? Senate gun control supporters struggled Tuesday to salvage their drive to expand background checks to more buyers, buoyed by a visit from wounded former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords but facing enough potential opponents to derail their endeavor unless they can figure out how to win more votes.

No. 2 Democratic leader Richard Durbin of Illinois, his party's chief vote counter, left a lunch of Democratic senators saying they would need support from nine or 10 Republicans ? a tall order. Subjecting more firearms transactions to the background checks now is the main thrust of the gun control effort launched after December's killings of school children and adults in Newtown, Conn.

Attending Tuesday's Senate lunch was Giffords, the Arizona Democrat severely hurt in a 2011 mass shooting in Tucson, and her husband, retired astronaut Mark Kelly. The two, gun owners both, have started a political committee that backs candidates who favor gun restrictions.

"His message was, 'We've been through this,'" Durbin said, describing Kelly's remarks to the lawmakers. "'We're ready to fight back to stand up for those who have the courage to vote for gun safety.'"

Giffords did not address the lawmakers.

Before the lunch, Giffords and Kelly met privately with Sens. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va., and Patrick Toomey, R-Pa. The two senators have written compromise legislation that would expand background checks to cover gun shows and the Internet, a plan gun control supporters think gives them the best chance of pushing a broader system of checks than the current one through the Senate.

"They're helping immensely just by being here and talking to our colleagues. We're close, but we sure need their help," Manchin said after that meeting.

The two senators' effort is aimed at weeding out criminals and the seriously mentally ill from getting firearms. The current background check system applies only to transactions with licensed gun dealers.

Though the Senate has been debating a broader gun bill for days, it remained unclear when votes on the Manchin-Toomey plan or other amendments would begin. Democrats were hoping roll calls could start as early as Wednesday, with the two senators' proposal generally seen as the first vote.

President Barack Obama, in an interview with NBC's "Today" show, urged lawmakers to pay attention to public support for expanding background checks and remember the slayings of 26 schoolchildren and staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

"The notion that Congress would defy the overwhelming instinct of the American people after what we saw happen in Newtown, I think is unimaginable," Obama said in the interview, aired Tuesday.

Besides the Manchin-Toomey proposal, Democrats were ready to offer other amendments ? likely to lose ? banning military-style assault weapons and ammunition magazines capable of carrying more than 10 rounds. Authorities have said both were used in the Newtown massacre.

Sen. John Cornyn of Texas, the No. 2 Senate GOP leader, said he was working on an amendment requiring states to recognize each other's permits for carrying concealed weapons.

While all states but Illinois, plus the District of Columbia, issue permits or have other arrangements for permitting concealed weapons, nine states don't recognize permits from other states. Gun rights defenders say making it easier to move firearms between states is protected by the Constitution, while opponents complain it would hurt states that have stricter standards for permits than others.

"Hopefully we'll start voting on this. I don't know of any reason why we wouldn't," Cornyn told reporters.

Using procedural moves, opponents would need just 41 of the Senate's 100 votes to derail the Manchin-Toomey background check plan.

Thirty-one senators voted last week to completely block debate on overall gun legislation. Just two were Democrats ? Mark Pryor of Arkansas and Mark Begich of Alaska.

If all 31 vote against the Manchin-Toomey measure ? which is not certain ? opponents will need just 10 more votes to prevail.

So far, nine of 16 Republicans who voted last week to let debate on the gun bill begin have said they will oppose Manchin-Toomey, and one other has said he is leaning toward doing so. That would give foes of expanded background checks enough votes to win.

Still uncertain is support from some Democrats from GOP-heavy states, including Max Baucus of Montana, Mary Landrieu of Louisiana and Heidi Heitkamp of North Dakota. Baucus and Landrieu face re-election next year.

As of Tuesday afternoon, Manchin, Toomey and their allies were still hunting supporters.

"We're working to get 60, and it's fluid," Vice President Joe Biden told reporters, citing the number of votes his side would need to prevail.

Aides and lobbyists have said the two lawmakers are considering allowing changes in their bill to exempt people who live far from gun dealers, making it difficult to go to the dealers' shops to have background checks performed. The hope was to attract votes from Alaska and North Dakota.

In addition, Democrats were considering allowing other votes to come before the vote on Manchin-Toomey. That might make it easier to win support for the background check expansion by letting some senators vote first against other proposals, such as the assault weapons ban, to show voters they support gun rights.

Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., the third-ranking Senate Democratic leader, was among several in his party who cited emotional speeches by other senators in their lunch Tuesday as giving hope to supporters of expanded checks.

He also emphasized the help gun control advocates have received from families of victims of Newtown and other mass shootings, who have spent many recent days visiting senators.

"The more the families who were here again have a chance to talk to people, the better we do. So if it's possible I'd like to get a little more time," Schumer said.

___

Associated Press writers Stephen Ohlemacher, Henry Jackson and Jim Abrams contributed to this report.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/3d281c11a96b4ad082fe88aa0db04305/Article_2013-04-16-Gun%20Control-Congress/id-30215609430c4cf1ac84530e6f22e030

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96% West of Memphis

All Critics (104) | Top Critics (23) | Fresh (100) | Rotten (4)

A real-life horror story, made no less shocking by the familiarity of its early scenes.

While the "Paradise Lost" films captured events as they unfolded in the heat of battle, "West of Memphis" has the luxury of at least partial closure.

A true-crime story that begins with a notorious murder case and grows into a chilling indictment of the American justice system.

And justice for all? Hardly.

It tells the story of a terrible crime compounded by a grave injustice that's been remedied, but only in part, so it's impossible to have a single or simple response to the movie.

What sets this film apart from previous efforts to document the story is that Jackson and Walsh financed a private investigative team with legal and forensic experts who re-examined old evidence, conducted new interviews and found new witnesses.

I would have preferred Jackson's clinically-presented project display a bit more reverence for the three young lives that were brutally taken some twenty years ago.

Moving and gruesome, West of Memphis is an eloquent disquisition on the banality of evil.

"West of Memphis" re-examines evidence and retells the story in a methodical and procedural fashion in which even the false steps lead somewhere.

More a recap and appendix to the Paradise Lost trilogy... one can't help but feel that the celebrities involved needed this document of their efforts to appease their vanity.

The case is more intriguing than the film about it.

Isn't unnecessary, but it's often superfluous.

The film suggests these powerless, poorly educated young men were scapegoated because they would be missed by nobody of importance -- the justice system equivalent of the cannon fodder recruited from the same socioeconomic straits.

It's nice to have all the twists and turns of the iconic case contained tidily in one well-crafted film, although there are no real revelations here.

"West of Memphis" becomes a greatest-hits concert of prosecutorial misconduct, and you'll agree when the film asserts that prosecutors knew they had the wrong guys.

Incredibly, after three documentaries on the subject, there are still things to reveal about the West Memphis Three.

"West of Memphis" does nothing to displace its predecessor films as masterpieces of investigative filmmaking, but complements them as a riveting capstone to an epic and tragic tale.

West of Memphis is the real vindication - even if it is incomplete.

In the end it won't matter if this is the fourth movie about the same subject; you can never learn its lessons often enough.

West of Memphis caps off the Paradise Lost/West Memphis Three saga with a line up full of perpetrators including the media, the West Memphis PD, the legal establishment and suspect gift wrapped with a smoking gun.

Injustice in West Memphis, Arkansas

Berg lays out her case with the logic of a first-rate prosecutor and the theatricality of a born storyteller.

Good to know these guys are finally free.

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Source: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/west_of_memphis/

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U-Swirl Signs 5 Store Area Development ... - Franchising.com

Total of 15 Stores Now Expected in Houston

HENDERSON, Nev. - March 4, 2013 // PRNewswire // - U-Swirl, Inc. (OTCQB: SWRL), parent to U-SWIRL International, Inc., the owner and franchisor of U-SWIRL Frozen Yogurt? cafes, announced today that they have signed another area development agreement for Houston, TX. The U-Swirl area developer in North East Houston, TX, has signed up to develop a total of five stores over the next 36 months. This puts the total number of stores to be developed at 15 in the Houston metropolitan statistical area.

"It is very exciting to continue to develop U-Swirl in Houston. We have one store open, another expected to open in a few weeks, and now with the addition of the latest area developer, there is yet another lease expected to be signed in a few days," said Chief Operating Officer Terry Cartwright . He continued, "We currently have five U-Swirl's under construction as well as three Yogurtini's and we hope to add to that in the near future. There are tremendous opportunities for growth and we look forward to exploring all avenues."

You may find Information on U-Swirl, Inc. on the company's website http://www.u-swirl.com/.

The Company is headquartered in Henderson, Nevada, and its common stock is listed on the OTCQB under the symbol "SWRL." The common stock of Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, Inc. trades on The Nasdaq Global Market under the symbol "RMCF."

Safe Harbor Statement

This press release contains forward-looking statements regarding the timing and financial impact of U-Swirl, Inc.'s ability to implement its business plan, expected revenues and future success. These statements involve a number of risks and uncertainties and are based on assumptions involving judgments with respect to future economic, competitive and market conditions and future business decisions, all of which are difficult or impossible to predict accurately and many of which are beyond the Company's control. Some of the important factors that could cause actual results to differ materially from those indicated by the forward-looking statements are general economic conditions, failure to achieve expected revenue growth, changes in our operating expenses, legal developments, competitive pressures, changes in customer and market requirements and standards, and the risk factors detailed from time to time in U-Swirl's periodic filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, including without limitation, the Company's Annual Report for the year ended December 31, 2011. The forward looking-statements in this press release are based upon management's reasonable belief as of the date hereof. U-Swirl, Inc. undertakes no obligation to revise or update publicly any forward-looking statements for any reason.

Contact:

U-Swirl, Inc.
Office: 702-586-8700
Fax: 702-834-8444
info@u-swirl.com

SOURCE U-Swirl, Inc.

###

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Source: http://www.franchising.com/news/20130304_uswirl_signs_5_store_area_development_agreement_fo.html

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NASA's Planet-Hunting Kepler Telescope Stalled by Glitch

NASA's prolific planet-hunting Kepler space telescope has been placed in a precautionary "safe mode" after engineers noticed a problem with the instrument's orientation mechanism.

The Kepler telescope went into safe mode on Jan. 17 for a planned 10 days, during which time the telescope's reaction wheels ? spinning devices used by the observatory to maintain its position in space ?will be rested. The move comes after researchers detected an unexpected increase in the amount of torque needed to rotate one of the wheels, mission officials said.

"Resting the wheels provides an opportunity to redistribute internal lubricant, potentially returning the friction to normal levels," Kepler officials wrote in a Jan. 17 mission update.

Kepler will not make any new science observations for its search for alien planets while in safe mode, team members said.

"Once the 10-day rest period ends, the team will recover the spacecraft from this resting safe mode and return to science operations," Kepler officials wrote. "That is expected to take approximately three days. An update will be posted after the wheel rest operation is complete."?[Gallery: A World of Kepler Planets]

When the Kepler spacecraft launched in March 2009, it had four functional reaction wheels ? three for immediate use, plus one spare. The wheels help the telescope keep its precise aim at more than 150,000 target stars, which it monitors for the presence of orbiting?exoplanets.?

One of the wheels failed last July. Since the spacecraft needs three functioning reaction wheels to work properly, another failure could potentially end the $600 million Kepler mission.

Kepler detects alien planets?by flagging the telltale brightness dips caused when they cross the face of their parent stars from the instrument's perspective. Kepler generally needs to witness three such "transits" to identify a planetary candidate.

The telescope has already spotted more than 2,700 potential planets, including a number in their host stars' habitable zones ? that range of distances that could support liquid water on a world's surface. To date, just 105 of these candidates have been confirmed, but mission scientists think at least 90 percent should end up being the real deal.

If the three remaining reaction wheels keep spinning normally and Kepler doesn't suffer any other major issues, it could keep scanning its patch of sky for several more years to come. Last year, NASA announced that it had extended the mission through at least 2016.

Kepler's main mission is to find Earth-size planets in the habitable zone. The longer it runs, the more such worlds it will find.

Because of the three-transit requirement, most of the planets Kepler has found so far zip around their stars relatively quickly, in close-in orbits.

With more time, the instrument will be able to discover more exoplanets in relatively distant orbits, allowing Kepler to survey the habitable zones of warmer stars. (It could take a hypothetical alien version of Kepler up to three years, after all, to see Earth transit the sun three times.)

Witnessing more transits will also increase the signal-to-noise ratio, enabling more relatively small planets to be detected, researchers have said.

Follow SPACE.com senior writer Mike Wall on Twitter @michaeldwall?or SPACE.com @Spacedotcom. We're also on Facebook?and?Google+.?

Copyright 2013 SPACE.com, a TechMediaNetwork company. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/nasas-planet-hunting-kepler-telescope-stalled-glitch-183103523.html

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Miss Piggy's Version Of Global Warming: What About Me?

Here's a new, sly, (and frankly selfish) way to think about global warming: instead of worrying about the whole planet and all its oceans, how about asking a more personal question ...

What about me? What about where I live? Or where my grandma lives? Or the North Pole? Or Siberia? What if I could take my curser, plop it onto any place on Earth and find out what's happened to temperatures right there.

Click! And a graph instantly registers how much temperatures have changed in that very region since the early 1950's. You can click anywhere you please, on deserts, oceans, island chains, mountains, on places you love or dream of, and discover if things have been warming up or cooling down, and by how much. Some places, I noticed have gotten colder. But not many. It's easy to do. Go ahead, give it a whirl.

This graphic appears on New Scientist's website. It was built by Chris Amico and Peter Aldhouse, with help from Robert Schmunk from data produced by a team at NASA's Goddard Institute for Space Studies, whose offices, as it happens, are located not far from the Greek diner you see featured on Seinfeld in New York City.

The team attached some detailed source material to their graphic that some of you will want to read. I'd put this stuff in fine print, but we at NPR don't have a "fine print option" for our blogs, so if you don't want to know this, squint or go walk the dog. (Or listen to Radiolab. I'm told it's a fine podcast.) For the rest of you:

How The Data Was Assembled And Adjusted:

The graphs and maps all show changes relative to average temperatures for the three decades from 1951 to 1980, the earliest period for which there was sufficiently good coverage for comparison. This gives a consistent view of climate change across the globe. To put these numbers in context, the NASA team estimates that the global average temperature for the 1951-1980 baseline period was about 14 ?C.

The analysis uses land-based temperature measurements from some 6000 monitoring stations in the Global Historical Climatology Network, plus records from Antarctic stations recorded by the Scientific Committee on Antarctic Research. Temperatures at the ocean surface come from a measurements made by ships from 1880 to 1981, plus satellite measurements from 1982 onwards.

Surface temperature measurements are not evenly distributed across the globe. So the NASA team interpolates from the available data to calculate average temperatures for cells in a global grid, with each cell measuring 2 degrees latitude by 2 degrees longitude. The analysis extrapolates up to 1200 kilometres from any one station, which allows for more complete coverage in theArctic? where monitoring stations are sparsely distributed, but where the warming trend is especially strong.

The NASA team also corrects the data to remove local heating caused by dense human settlements ? a phenomenon known as the urban heat island effect. Temperature stations in urban areas are identified by referring to satellite images of the light they give off at night, and their records are adjusted to reflect the average trend of nearby rural stations.

Source: http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/01/19/169718818/miss-piggys-version-of-global-warming-what-about-me?ft=1&f=1007

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The Debt Ceiling Poll Question That Will Make Republicans Extremely Depressed

Republicans have argued and convinced themselves that they're fighting a popular fight on the debt ceiling.

That's because, despite the fact that pundits/economists/everyone says a failure to raise the debt ceiling would be disastrous, Americans say they DON'T want it raised. 60% (!) say they don't want it raised.

But here's the catch.

Although Americans don't want the debt ceiling raised, and although Republicans are the ones against a clean raise, look what poll respondents say when asked who should get the blame if the debt ceiling isn't hiked, and payments for crucial services are halted.

This is from a new NBC/WSJ poll. 45% of respondents would blame the GOP. Just 33% would blame Obama and Congressional Democrats.

This seems contradictory, of course, but it's really not that weird.

People don't get what the debt ceiling is. It sounds like a good thing... a tool to keep the government fiscally prudent, which it's not.

But people do seem to grasp that the GOP is on a dangerous kamikaze mission. So even though the GOP is ostensibly on the same side as people on the debt limit, they can't win by going all the way.

If we wake up one day, and we've hit the "x-date" it will be the GOP taking most of the blame.

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheMoneyGame/~3/owVYHWAqawk/debt-ceiling-poll-americans-will-blame-gop-in-debt-ceiling-standoff-2013-1

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